|I present this award to YOU!!|
(You should know who you are...)
One topic of the show, midway through the second season, is whether people should be completely open and honest about everything with their relationship partner, or if a person needs to keep certain things to themselves in order to retain their individuality. Of course, this was in relation to admitting to an affair, which, if told, could hurt the partner and the relationship. The benefit to telling would be that the partner would know (although how beneficial that would be was questioned) and that the cheater would relieve their guilt.
|Ohh, yeah... |
Let the drama begin!
One must be honest with what they did. Many people simply do not evaluate their own actions, dismissing them with superficial acknowledgments and covering them up with justifications. If you do something, acknowledge that you did it. No buts. No conditions. No excuses. No! Just say what you did. Noun followed by verb with subject/predicate phrase/etc. (if absolutely necessary). For example: I cheated on (name). Or: I ate all the cake. Or: I broke (partner's name)'s favorite (object). Be direct. Don't hedge with yourself.
|No, no, I don't believe you.|
Only when you get to this level of honesty can you understand what you need to do to make things better/right/just.
One must be honest with their motivations, whether they decide to keep the secret or admit their wrongdoing. If you cannot honestly say to yourself that telling will make your partner's (NOT your) life better or more just, don't do it. You have to be honest if you are going to be selfish about your actions. You have to be honest if you are going to swallow (read: wallow in) your guilt. Don't tell just to make yourself feel better. Don't keep it a secret so that you don't have to pay the consequences. If it's about how YOU would feel upon taking an action, you're doing it wrong. If you aren't honest about this part, you will - I repeat WILL - make the same mistake again. You won't have learned your lesson. You won't have grown as a person.
|Wise man... one of three.|
Be honest with yourself, and you will be the best friend/parent/child/lover/partner anyone could ask for.