The Self-Satisfaction of Social Failure

Nothing feels quite as good as doing good. And we love to see the stories of good-doing on social media. But these feel-good stories have a darker side to them.

Cop with Cancer Refuses to Stop Working; Dozens Donate their Sick Days
Radio Station Buys and Forgives Medical Debt
Cop Buys Interview Outfit Shoplifter Tried to Steal
Cop Buys Groceries for Hungry Shoplifter

People raising money for a family who lost their home. People raising money to help someone with medical bills. People doing good things for people... who should never be in need in the first place.

There is something to be said for going out of your way to help people. But there is more to be said for a society that allows so many to be in distress in the first place, particularly when it is stuff that isn't really their fault.

If someone's house burns down due to a forest fire, if a person gets cancer or heart disease, this does not mean they somehow deserve their situation. We are really good at looking at this people as somehow causing their own problems when it comes to making policy and creating social structures, but they are unfortunate victims when we can participate in saving them.

And that's the problem. We have created a society where it is encouraged to be charitable, but shameful to need charity. We have created a situation where our system makes victims for us to help and save. Just hope you don't end up as one of them, which is far more about luck than effort.

I have spoken before about Hospitality from a Heathen perspective, and I feel that it is as much a value to our social interactions to give others the opportunity to be charitable as it is to be charitable.

First, we need to get past, as a society, this self-congratulating perception we have of "help" and "charity". While heroes are nice, wouldn't it be better to create a world with less need for heroes?

The Nine Noble Virtues: a Modern Take - Hospitality

The Nine Noble Virtues are a modern invention, so it seems my title is redundant. However, little seems to have been done to bring the concepts themselves from the past into the present.

I do not consider the NNV to be a historical reference. I do consider them to be a modern way of understanding cultural and even subconscious values that were stressed, if not perfectly, by those peoples lumped together as Norsemen.

This series will explore my thoughts on these values and, hopefully, start conversations about them in a modern context.

I'm starting with Hospitality because it is my favorite. When I first learned about it, a chord was struck within me and I began to work out my thoughts and feelings on the idea, immediately. The first thing I noticed was that hospitality takes the place of charity.

From a historical context, there are some texts that talk about situations in which hospitality was used or abused, which gives us a strong basis for believing it was important. The "why" is a little trickier. There are just some things that people don't think to write down because, within the culture, it is so obvious that explaining it would be redundant.

We can extrapolate ideas from the way hospitality is talked about. Many of the texts focus on providing food and shelter and, when looking at the weather conditions of that time, that makes sense.

Skadi, Goddess of snow
and blizzards, with Ullr

To me, hospitality is a social exchange. You extend the generosity of your home and resources to save lives. Yes, that's a bit hyperbolic, but when you think about how people would get caught in snowstorms, or lost without food after travelling for weeks, it's not too big of a stretch.

And the sharing of resources means that there is an exchange of obligations. The host is obliged to actually take care of the needs of their guest to the best of their ability. The guest is not only obliged to respect the host's offerings, but to eventually pay that generosity forward.

In this way, a family might host travelers on and off for several generations. Then, the son may go travelling, himself. If he finds himself in a bind, he doesn't have to feel bad about asking for hospitality - his family has paid that obligation off many times over.

Think about what that means. By fostering generosity and hospitality, you are not obligated to feel SHAME if you require hospitality in return.

Imagine how different it is to see the giving and taking of charity and other forms of aide as both sides of a social obligation. Those accepting charity would be just as respected in their role for PROVIDING THE HOST WITH THE OPPORTUNITY TO MEET THEIR SOCIAL OBLIGATION.

On the other hand, serving a guest, because of the importance of the obligation, becomes an HONOR instead of a menial action. The host and server does not give food and drink with head down and a meek expression. She (for it was usually the matron of the household) holds her head high and gives her guests the offerings of her generosity.

By changing the way we look at hospitality, we take something that was often shameful or belittling and transform it into something bigger and better. In many ways, it is a sacred act to contribute to this exchange of obligations.

Odin the Wanderer

Let us not forget the number of gods who walked the world, visiting humans and taking of their hospitality, as well. Each guest could be Odin or Zeus in mortal garb.

Extending the hospitality of your home and resources can and should be a spiritual/holy/sacred act.