Thursday, June 30, 2011

All's Fair in Love and Parenting

Children are hell on their parents' relationship.

Today, I read about how the number of people choosing to be childless is going up and up, and more couples with children are regretting having them, claiming less happiness in their marriages, and even getting divorced because of the kids.

I was feeling a bit proud of myself, because despite this, I'm pretty happy with my life and my relationship.
Not that we don't have these moments...

Then, a coworker told me that she usually fights with her husband every time they go on a trip or plan to have visitors. And I thought, we don't fight like that.

She said it was because they both expect the other person to do things and get upset when it doesn't get done.

I tell Stormcrow exactly what I expect all the time. I do not expect him to know what I want... If I want it, I say so.

What does that say about me as a pagan, a parent and a woman?

Well, it says that I know myself. It says that I'm not under the impression that I am or should be a second-class citizen. I don't expect to be taken care of, child-like, by someone who "knows better." I have courage to be who I am, without hedging that based on what other people think I should be. I don't have to compromise myself. I can lead without all the whiny, manipulative games that seem so prevalent in our society.

But the thing that makes me most happy about this, is that my daughter will have a strong female role-model. My son will see woman through a filter of his experience with me.

If my children become able to accept females as being just as capable of leading the family unit, if they learn to see strong women as being as normal as strong men, if they gain the experience of a male-figure who doesn't depend on his ability to control to be the source of his manliness, then I will have accomplished so much more than I had ever dared to hope.

Oh, and na na-na na-na naaaa! I have a better relationship than my coworker...

Cat say Pfftt!

Yeah, I went there, too.

No comments:

Post a Comment