Traditions vs Paths: Walking Your Right Way

Paganism is full of it.

Different paths, different traditions, different ways of doing this or that. Paganism is just plain full of choices.

I believe that there is a right way and a wrong way to do your spiritual thing. I believe this firmly. I just don't know what it is for you. And I certainly don't think that what works for me is right for you, or vice versa.

See, I'm an all-paths kinda witch. Each of us is different, with different backgrounds, experiences, preferences, and, yes, even goals. How can anyone possibly believe that there is a One True Way (tm) to do something so personal when people are so very different?

There are many traditions in Paganism, such as Alexandrian Wicca, Faery Wicca, ADF, etc., and many of them are very much worth a look-see. Maybe even a bit of learning. Maybe one of them is right for you and your family. But maybe not.

There are also more general paths, such as Druidism, Wicca, Left-hand Path, etc. They tend to be more of a guide than traditions, which are more scholastic and ritualized (in most cases). Perhaps one of these paths is right for you, even if none of the traditions on the path works.

So many choices, and Paganism is full of it.

Isn't it great?

When the Economy is the Grinch that Stole Yule, Take a Lesson from Whoville

This year, as with the last few years, the holiday season is tainted with the depressing and hard-to-fix problem of economics. There isn't the money to buy the presents. There isn't the money to spring for the trips to see other family. There isn't the money for the holiday feasting. There just isn't the money...

Now my family does not do materialism very well, but we exchange a few gifts. Some people have spending limits this year of just $150-300. We stay around $25-50 no matter what. But this year, even $25 seems to be in short supply.

We scrimp and save. I gave up on a "big" gift from my parents so that Stormie could get the gift he wanted (a gun, to hunt... meat - which will theoretically help us save on buying groceries). My gift ideas for my immediate family has been completely practical - a winter coat for myself, pajamas for Bug, pants for Ladybug.

I shop for deals and cover my eyes before clicking the "order" button, just because I'm not sure we can afford it. I collect Swagbucks to earn gift cards to offset - partially or completely - the cost of shopping. We buy only one or two holiday decorations each year - and pack everything away carefully for the years to come. We are going to make our gingerbread house from scratch rather than buy a kit (that doesn't taste good anyways).

Some of our holiday traditions this year include (or have included): putting up and decorating the Yule tree together, burning a Yule Log candle when we eat our Yuletide feast, discussing our DYGs (Dark of the Year Goals - see my blogs on the Dark of the Year)...

The thing is, and I have discussed this with many people over the past weeks, that the most memorable holiday traditions are often the ones with little or no cost. All kids remember the times they played games all night with their family, the drives around town looking at the lights and decorations, making cookies and crafts together. Kids don't remember what they got for presents six months later. They remember the time they spent together with family. It's all about the togetherness. It's all about the love.

To this end, I've decided to not stress about presents (after all, Gramma & Grampa will certainly buy more than we have room for), not stress about parties (school parties only last an hour anyways), not stress about travel (we'll get there when we get there - why add the pressure of holiday-time travel?), not stress about what anyone, outside of me and Stormie and Bug and Ladybug, thinks of whether we are celebrating "enough" or "appropriately".

Who cares about how much money I spend on the holidays, except the giant corporations with one eye on the bottom line and their hands reaching for my bank account? Oh, and my overly money-conscious brother, but I don't care what he cares about anyways.

Speaking of Who's, I have a holiday playlist (I *LOVE* Christmas songs) that has the song of the Who's. You know, the one they sing on Christmas morning, even after the Grinch stole all the STUFF and thought that would stop the celebration from coming. Then the Who's sing anyways, saying "Christmas day is in our grasp, So long as we have hands to clasp" and "Christmas day will always be, Just so long as we have we". The singing swells the Grinch's heart destroying the grumpiness of that grump and inspiring him to become heroic and generous.

I think the way things are going, the economy's oh-so-slow recovery, the protests over corporate and government corruption, the overt, peer-pressure MATERIALISM of the holiday season, we are all in danger of becoming a Grinch, or of letting the Grinch-economy steal our holiday. But we can embrace the Who's song and declare that this holiday is about celebrating US, celebrating FAMILY, celebrating people, not STUFF.

We have hands of friends and family to hold. We have us and all the happiness that "us" can be. Pull out all the stops this holiday season and concentrate on FUN and FAMILY. The corporate bottom-line will return Christmas once it sees that we don't need the "Who pudding and rare Who roast beast" or the noise-making toys and bleepity-bling.

"Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. Maybe Christmas, he thought... doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps... means a little bit more!"

"And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say - that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day. And then - the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of *ten* Grinches, plus two!"
 
"Welcome, Christmas, bring your cheer. Cheer to all Whos far and near. Christmas Day is in our grasp, so long as we have hands to clasp. Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have we. Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart, and hand in hand."

Lyrics to Welcome Christmas:
Welcome Christmas come this way
Fahoo fores dahoo dores
Welcome Christmas, Christmas day
Welcome, welcome fahoo ramus
Welcome, welcome dahoo damus
Christmas day is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to clasp
Fahoo fores dahoo dores
Welcome Christmas bring your cheer
Fahoo fores dahoo dores
Welcome all Whos far and near
Welcome Christmas, fahoo ramus
Welcome Christmas, dahoo damus
Christmas day will always be
Just so long as we have we
Fahoo fores dahoo dores
Welcome Christmas bring your light
Fahoo fores dahoo dores
Welcome Christmas, Christmas day
Welcome Christmas, fahoo ramus
Welcome Christmas, dahoo damus
Welcome Christmas while we stand
Heart to heart and hand in hand
Fahoo fores dahoo dores
Welcome welcome Christmas Day...
Welcome, welcome X-mas day....

Bugging over Church

My mother likes to take the kids to church. She knows I'm pagan; she knows we are raising the kids in the pagan beliefs.

Now this is more like it...

Now, it isn't the church part that bugs me. It's the way she behaves towards the kids regarding church. She expects the almost 5 year old to sit quietly for an hour.

Seriously?!? Have you MET my kids? There is no quiet; there is no sitting. I can barely get them through sitting at the table for supper. And they have something to do in that situation. But just sit there and listen for an hour? I don't THINK so...

I love babies... when they are asleep!

I'm sure that my mother's heart is in the right place. However, expecting such unrealistic behavior is just silly. And she gets mad and PUNISHES them for misbehaving and (wait for it) embarrassing her. (She should read this.) Just to get this out there, my mother has a very low threshold for embarrassment... the drop of a hat will make her feel looked at and ashamed. It might drive me a bit nuts.

I told her she shouldn't punish them for not behaving in a way they are not expected to behave any other time. I told her she may want to EXPLAIN in DETAIL what is expected of them when they are in church. I also told her it may be ridiculous to expect kids that young to behave the way she wants them to in church (and this isn't something that is only with my kids either... see?).

Her reaction? "You don't want me to take the kids to church because you don't believe in it."

What?

He's quiet cuz she threatened to tell His Father!

Yeah, there's a bit of a point to that, but just a wee-bitty-bit. I let my kids learn about all religions and experience whatever religious experiences they show an interest in. I don't care if they go to Sunday school, church, synagogue, temple, whatever. I draw the line at forcing them to do something they are not ready for (such as, wait for it, sitting quietly for an hour being talked at), or anything that I see as mental/emotional manipulation. But I have nothing against the Christian/Catholic beliefs... I just don't agree with them.

I also think that the (fairly modern) belief that young children should go to church is ridiculous. As late as the 30s and 40s, many churches expected any child under about age 6 to stay home... BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T SIT STILL!!!

"Hey, this is important for your spiritual development."

"I wanna play!!"

And you certainly shouldn't PUNISH someone for not being able to meet expectations that are, at least, uncommon skills for that person's capabilities. That would be like telling me to run a mile - like run for a whole mile - and getting mad at me cuz I'm a fat girl and passed out after 3/4 of a mile. It's just not right, ya know?