Summary of a Workshop: The Intersection of Magic and Consent

 I gave a workshop (three actually) at the 2015 Heartland Pagan Festival. It was a great experience, and eye-opening in many ways. I formatted my workshops as discussions (yes, all of them), and each of them went in a different direction than I had predicted. But it was wonderful!

I am attempting here to summarize, with a bit of additional commentary, what the discussion ended up being for my workshop: The Intersection of Magic and Consent. Feel free to use the questions posed here for your journaling, or respond to specific questions in the comments below.


I'd like to start by being specific about the purpose of this workshop. I don't believe that the Pagan community has finished the discussion about consent in regards to magic and energy work. I'm not here to say whether some things are right or wrong. I'd much rather talk about the things that should be considered.

There are a few ways in which magic and energy can conflict with a person's consent. I'd like to open the discussion with a question: how many of you have had a situation where someone did a spell or energy work on you or for you, and that made you feel like there was some violation of your body or energy, or that your voice was ignored?

There is one type of energy work that I believe always requires consent. That is any type that requires an invasion of body space. If there is touching involved, does the intent of the magic trump the person's right to not be touched?

I don't think it does, simply because it isn't just an energy work at that point. We see a lot of people in the community who violate body space without asking simply because they are "healers". What ways have you seen this happen? How do you deal with this invasion of body?

Now I'd like to get really deep into this. I want you to think for a moment of a time when you may have done this to someone else. I want you to think about why you felt that it was okay, since I'm assuming you never intended to overstep.

What are your perceptions of this? How does this perspective change how you feel about people who might overstep boundaries with you? How does it change how you might approach them about this?

As a parent, I have (and still do) often use a variety of energy work on my children. I used calming energies on them as infants and toddlers, and I use healing energy on them when they are sick or injured. I do the same with my husband. I don't often specifically ask for their permission in doing this, it is just a part of other care-taking activities, such as holding/hugging, applying creams and medicines, etc.

How does this fall into the magic and consent ideology? Do you have a line about who these things can be done to? Or what types of energy you will use on people?

The most interesting thing about this topic is that it resists being a black&white issue. It is an ethical discussion with many shades and variations. The best way to explore this topic is to discuss the various beliefs and lines-in-the-sand, without being judgmental.

I will leave you with a final word: If someone specifically places a boundary for the use of magic or energy work on them, do not ignore their wishes. Refusing to allow someone energetic-body autonomy is a true violation of consent.

The Magic of Control, or Nagging Spells

I can be a bit of a nag about things. This bothered me for a long time because I thought it was a flaw in me.

Then, I saw an article stating that nagging is what you do when people don't listen the first time. That statement turned my perception around of how I saw my constant reminding/pleading/yelling for my family to get their chores done/put things away/clean up after themselves.

I am a nag. And here's an example of why:
If the dishwasher doesn't get emptied, it can't get loaded, so the sink fills up and I can't get kids drinks of water or scrub out the cast iron skillet, which I need to use to brown meat for taco cornbread muffins, which bug and stormie take for meals, so they don't have good lunch options, so they buy lunch for three times the price, spending money we can't afford (on our super-tight budget), so we can't save as much and we can't go on vacation.
If the laundry doesn't get rotated, it starts to smell and we have to run it again, which uses up time, soap and electricity, which raises our basic costs, so now we can't do the state fair.

I wish I was exaggerating, but we actually have that tight of a budget. And I've seen it spiral out of control, costing us hundreds in extra spending or (gah!) bank fees. All because one chore wasn't done in a timely manner.

See, I do a bit of kitchen magic. I use cooking as a way of maintaining our prosperity. And it works.

But the kitchen is small and needs to be kept clean and organized. The rest of the house, too. We schedule our lives closely, not out of a need for control, but out of a desire to take control.

See, we have goals and wants, and some resources, but little money. To be able to travel to Heathen Sumbels & Blots, Pagan festivals and gatherings... to do any of this, we have to make it work.

And we do. Often.

It takes feeding the family on less money. It takes scheduling things to get medical appointments done when we are already travelling to that city 200 miles from home. We have 15 minutes to get this done or we lose our window of opportunity. We have $5 to last us a week.

And we can do it. We *have* done it. We want this prize, we will Get. It. Done.

And I nag because I'm the big picture seer, the planner, the orchestrator who gleans knowledge and plans an entire week and squuezes pennies just so my kids can go to an event we would otherwise not be able to swing. Or scrimps for years so hubby can get a fishing license.

I am a benevolent dictator. I am a parent. I am a witch.

Let's do this.

The Power is Mine (and Yours)!

This evening, at supper (honey chicken, stuffing and honey-cinnamon roasted radishes!), bug informed me that he could use his x-ray eyes to see that ladybug had a broken heart. To fix it, he offered to give her some of his heart-healing power, which he did by holding his hand over her chest and making a laser-y, swish-y noise.

Fear my powers of cuteness and latex!

I, being the on-the-ball, pagan parent who takes advantage of every learning opportunity, jumped on that wave and surfed it.

So, I told bug that that was called "energy transfer," which, as I expected (this isn't my first rodeo, after all), got him curious. He asked about it and we talked about how people can give each other some of their power, or energy, and how that can help people do things, or change how they feel, or heal.

Strangely,  bug looks just like this after 6 candy bars.

Then I showed bug how I give energy, and he giggled a lot. Stormcrow showed bug how he could siphon energy off people.

Then, reality crashed down: "THAT's all the power you have, mama?" Talk about a blow to the ego...

We talked about how not many people believe in powers and how that keeps us from being able to have bigger powers.

Do I think he got it? Kinda-ish.

Now you know; and knowing... Hey! I'm not in G.I.Joe!

But it's a good start, if I do say so myself.